Iris
by Just A Drop In The Ocean
Summary: Realization dawned over her like lightning from a clear sky, surprising, shocking and totally unexpected. She was in love with him. And she tried to remember, in daze of the new, both frightening and warming discovery, when exactly had her feeling shifted so drastically. And she started, as logic dictates, from the very beginning. Fem!Percy / Hermes
1. Prologue

**Title: Iris**

**Rating: T**

**Pairing: Female Percy Jackson (Persephone)/ Hermes**

**Summary: Realization dawned over her like lightning from a clear sky, surprising, shocking and totally unexpected. She was in love with him. And she tried to remember, in daze of the new, both frightening and warming discovery, when exactly had her feeling shifted so drastically. And she started, as logic dictates, from the very beginning. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Percy Jackson and the Olympians. The only things I have are my imagination and one annoyingly insistent plot bunny. **

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**Prologue  
I Don't Want the World to See Me**

_**And all I can taste is this moment,  
And all I can breathe is your life,  
And sooner or later it's over,  
I just don't want to miss you tonight.**_

_**And I don't want the world to see me,  
Cause I don't think that they'd understand.  
When everything's meant to be broken,  
I just want you to know who I am.**_

**Iris – Goo Goo Dolls**

A ghost. This was what Percy felt like as she walked through the overly full and way too cheerful streets of Olympus. The surviving naiads, satyrs and other immortals had all returned to the city and were celebrating already, dancing and laughing on the streets, not caring that there were still pieces of rumble and stone rolling on the ground. Their fallen comrades, friends and family, seemed to be forgotten, at least at the moment, everyone swept away by the euphoric mood that had settled after the end of the war.

Even the gods were too busy celebrating, having no hesitation to throw one of their legendary parties in the still half-ruined throne room. The demigods had been more than happy with the distraction, throwing themselves into dancing and drinking in a struggle to chase the terrible memories of the war out of their heads.

Percy sighed at the thought.

She understood them completely. Hell, she even envied them a little. What wouldn't she give to be able to forget everything for a moment and join them in a night for fun and celebration, meaningless chatter and laughter.

But she found that she couldn't. The memories in her head were fresh and searing, the weight on her shoulders too heavy to fade into the background even just for tonight. She had lost so much in the span of a few days that her mind was having a hard time catching up, her heart barely having the strength to bear the loss.

So many friends dead. Charlie, Silena, Will… All good people, good friends. People with their future ripped away because they had chosen to fight in the name of gods who had slighted them, forgotten them. And the worst thing was that she, Percy Jackson, had been the one to lead them to their death. She had been the one issuing the orders, too lost looking at the big picture to realize that this wasn't a game or a training session, this was war and people died in wars.

And Luke… Her biggest regret and the one ghost that vehemently refused to stop haunting her thoughts. He had been a traitor, yes, but he had also been her friend and now his blood tainted her hands, invisible to all others, but bright and obvious to Percy, despite the time she had spent rubbing her skin raw in hopes to wash it off. She had been an active participant in his death, the one who helped drive the blade through his Achilles'' heel.

She was a killer now, a murderer. And Luke was not her only victim. Other demigods, fighting on Kronos' side had fallen by her blade, despite her efforts to maim, not to kill. It had been so hard. Surrounded by enemies, with only a handful of allies, Percy had had hard time focusing. Her hand had strayed. One moment, it hadn't mattered. Monster or demigod, they were all her enemies and they had to be eliminated. She had killed them all.

A murderer.

The others hadn't seen that way, though. A hero of Olympus they had proclaimed her, offering her gifts, anything her heart could desire. Immortality. The ultimate gift, the one offered only to the greatest, bravest heroes. A gift that could be offered only once in a lifetime.

And she had refused.

She just couldn't bring herself to agree to live forever when so many had died for this cause. She had to make their sacrifice worth it. And she had done it the best way she could. She had made sure no one would feel the need to die the same way in the future.

At least it had slightly lightened her guilt.

Percy turned into one of the less populated streets, finally allowing the hood of her sweatshirt to fall. It didn't matter if her face was visible now because there was almost no one to see her here.

Slowly, she continued up the paved street, freezing when she noticed a lone figure looming over one of the few unharmed fountains in the city. It took her a moment to realize who it was and her muscles both tensed and relaxed at once.

For a second, she considered fleeing, but quickly chased the thought away. Hermes was her friend, the best one she'd ever had and she couldn't just leave him when he was in obvious distress. And he was distressed, she could say. He was leaning against the rim of the fountain, his shoulders sagged miserably as he watched the flashing Iris message.

"You know, even after three thousand years the power of mortal ignorance still astonishes me." Hermes murmured, motioning towards the IM, where images of mortal newscasts changed so rapidly that Percy had hard time understanding them. "They've already written off Typhon's appearance with a series of freak storms."

Percy glanced at his grim face, regretting that she couldn't see his eyes which were still glued to the images, though she knew he wasn't really watching. Cautiously she touched his shoulder, silently prompting him to look at her. His muscles were tense under her hand and she wondered what a storm of emotions he was suppressing under the calm façade he had built.

"I owe you an apology, Hermes." The girl muttered and he finally turned, watching her carefully, with a bit of confusion in his eyes. "I said you were a bad father. I lashed out on you. I'm so sorry." She sighed and looked away, blinking back tears. "We were losing the war and I was just so scared and frustrated. I needed to lash out on someone and you were just there at the wrong time and I'm so sorry I said all that. I swear I didn't mean it. I would never think something like that about you." Percy swallowed heavily, looking down to the ground in shame. She had possibly lost her best friend because of a few rushed sentences spoken under the veil of anger and helplessness.

A pair of warm, familiar arms wrapped around her and she closed her eyes, burying herself in his embrace. Tears threatened to spill, but Percy held them back. Despite how much she wished she could just let go and weep and cry for all the loss and pain she had been through the last few days, she couldn't. This wasn't about her. Not this time.

He had been the one to hold her while she cried, to keep her together when she fell apart so many times in the past and now it was her turn to be there for him, to offer comfort and understanding when he needed it.

Percy felt his hands curl in fists against her back in effort to fight some emotion. "Don't." She whispered, one hand massaging his biceps in an effort to make him relax. "Don't hide your feelings from me."

It was as if these words unleashed the dam. With a stifled gasp, Hermes buried his face in her silky black hair, his body trembling as he held her tightly, anchoring himself to her, grasping her like a saving line. And she took it all, running her fingers through his curly hair, pressing soft kisses against his temple, while she whispered comforting words into his ear.

And while she held him, she remembered all that had happened between the two of them through the span of the years, all leading up to this moment. How they had met, how their relationship had progressed, all the bittersweet memories they had made together.

Realization dawned over her like lightning from a clear sky, surprising, shocking and totally unexpected. She was in love with him. Yes, she had known the feelings of love and friendship that ran between them, but she had never before realized that her feelings ran deeper than that.

And she tried to remember, in daze of the new, both frightening and warming discovery, when exactly had her feeling shifted so drastically. And she started, as logic dictates, from the very beginning.

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**AN: I know right now I should probably update my other fanfictions (and I will do that very soon) but this idea just wouldn't leave me alone. So, here it is. My new fem!Percy/Hermes story. **

**I hope you like it! Let me know! **


	2. 2: Airplanes

**Hi guys! Here is the first real chapter of this story and the first of Percy's memories. I know it's pretty close to cannon but I wanted to keep their first meeting the way it was. But next chapter will be different, I promise. **

**Thank you all for the great response. It's extremely inspiring!**

**ptl4ever419****– Thank you :)**

**SeaofWarandWisdom**** – I imagine it would be weird :)**

**TweetyBaby****– I'm glad you like it **

**MidnightWolf191**** – I****'m so sorry for the mistake. I haven't read the Last Olympian in a while and I didn't think about checking before posting the chapter. But I'm glad you like it.**

**Lady Cooper****– Well, in the story we will see (through Percy's memories) how they became best friends, how their relationship progressed up to the war and after that. So, wait and see, I guess :)**

**of chaos and discord****– Thanks! **

**Legacy01**** – Oh Wow! I'm so glad that this made you so happy! I never guessed that my stories would have such an impact. I'm glad you liked it and I hope I'll live up to your expectations and won't disappoint. **

**roos1414****– Thank you!**

** .710667**** – Glad you think so**

**LookItsARainbow****– Thanks! :)**

**Guest****– Thank you!**

**Guest****2 – Just did **

**PersephoneJackson123**** – I'm happy you like it! :)**

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**Iris  
Chapter One  
Airplanes**

_**Can we pretend that airplanes  
In the night sky are like shooting stars?  
I could really use a wish right now **_

**B.O.B. - Airplanes**

They had met when Percy had been just sixteen, more than three years ago. And she still remembered it like it was yesterday.

_Percy was lounging, no, brooding, on the beach at Camp, her heart heavy and mind way too busy to allow her the rest she needed. Her friend, her best friend Grover was gone and she was not allowed to save him, just because that new jerk of camp director had said so. Oh, how much she missed Chiron now. Somehow Camp didn't seem complete without the old centaur there._

_But no, Chiron had been fired just because Zeus was too much of a coward to admit that Kronos was stirring. _

_Percy took a sip of soda, hoping the cold, fuzzy drink would calm her nerves a little. She felt so useless. She, the one who had risked everything last summer to save Zeus' lightning bolt and prevent a World War 3, the one who had defeated Medusa and Chimera, the one who had beaten the War god in a battle, was denied the chance to save her best friend. She had not been good enough for this quest, Tantalus had said. The daughter of Ares was better. Of course, because it seemed logical not to allow a child of the __**Sea**__ god to go on a quest that mainly included __**sailing**__ the __**Sea**__ of Monsters. _

"_Screw them all!" Percy growled out and the sea level rose slightly, in answer to her turbulent emotions. Unconsciously she had been squeezing the can in her hand so tightly that it literally exploded, spewing soda all around. _

"_What has the poor can done to you to evoke such anger?" A voice sounded and Percy barely resisted throwing the can in his direction. Slowly, she twisted her head to face the man who had spoken . He looked like what you imagined when you thought of a jogger, slim and fit, dressed in a flannel T-shirt and shorts. Absently, she wondered where did he seem familiar from, but brushed the thought away. She was pretty sure she had never seen the guy before and it kind of baffled her what was he doing inside the Camp borders. It must have been something connected to the weakening of the borders, because, usually, mortals weren't able to come in. _

"_Do you mind if I sit?" The man asked with a sly smile and Percy shrugged in answer, motioning towards the empty spot on the blanket. The still rational part of her brain screamed at her to leave, to run away or yell for help, because let's be honest, a strange man at night on an abandoned beach miles away from civilization? Not suspicions at all. _

_But he seemed so calm about the whole deal, that the girl just couldn't bring herself to be nervous. _

_So instead she just passed him a can of soda and continued with her stargazing, as if she hadn't just invited a complete stranger to join her for a drink under the stars. Next to her, the guy cracked the drink open and took a sip. _

"_Ah," He sighed in pleasure. "Peace and quiet at-" His phone rang, interrupting his speech about peace and quiet. Percy watched wide eyed as he drew a cell phone out of his pocket with two miniature snakes writhing around the extended antenna. He glanced at the screen and cursed in Ancient Greek, which made the girl do a double take as she realized that the man was certainly not a mortal. _

"_Sorry." He glanced at her before answering the call, not even noticing that the snakes were now right next to his ear. Percy was in too much shock to actually grasp anything from the conversation, except the words _vultures_ and _delivery_, which seemed too bizarre to understand. Finally, the jogger seemed to have finished his conversation, because he shoved the phone back in his shorts' pocket and relaxed on the sand once again. _

"_You have snakes on your phone." Percy murmured, still in shock. The man looked at her strangely._

"_Oh, don't worry, they are harmless." He took the phone out again. "Say hello, George and Martha." _

_**Hello George and Martha**__. A male voice sounded in Percy's head and her eyes widened even more when another voice, female answered. _

_**Oh, don't be rude, George.**__ The female snake chastened. __**Sorry, Percy, George is just jealous of me.**_

_The other snake seemed ready to answer but the jogger shushed him and put the phone away. A sudden realization dawned on Percy as she finally put the pieces together. Snakes. Deliveries. _

"_You are Hermes." She whispered in slight awe, now realizing where she had seen the same elfish features and the mischievous twinkle in his eyes. Unconsciously, she checked her pockets, relieved to find all her possessions where they should be. _

"_I am." Hermes answered. "And did you just check your pockets?" Percy was relieved that he sounded more amused than really offended and braved a grin. _

"_You can't blame me – I spent my first days at Camp at your cabin, with your children. I've learned my lessons." She frowned slightly, remembering the time her favorite bracelet, a gift from her mom, had disappeared. Percy had been panicked when she couldn't find it, but Luke had been kind enough to make his siblings give it back, probably seeing what value it had to her. Luke… She forced her mind away from the guy she had thought to be her friend only to end up betraying her, though it was kind of hard, considering how much he looked like the god seated next to her._

_Hermes' chuckle brought her thoughts and she couldn't help but smile slightly. He looked up to the night sky where her gaze had been fixed a few minutes ago. "They are beautiful." _

_Percy looked up again and hummed in agreement, not really seeing a point to comment. They were both silent for a long moment. "Do you have a favorite constellation, Percy?" The girl, frowned in thought, her eyes searching the heavens, recalling the names of all the constellations Annabeth had taught her and the stories behind them. _

"_Hercules, I think." Hermes raised a questioning eyebrow, silently prodding her to elaborate. She shrugged. "It's nice to know that there were heroes with worse luck than mine." _

_Percy resisted the urge to blush when the Olympian settled his intense gaze on her face, in a way that made her thing he was trying to read her mind. It made her feel self-conscious and flustered, but she forced herself not to look away. Thankfully, he was the one to break the eye contact first. _

"_You are an interesting young woman, Percy." Hermes muttered, averting his eyes from her face. "So, what do you plan to do now?" _

_Immediately, Percy knew what he was talking about. The Golden Fleece, Grover, the quest Clarisse had made more than clear she was not invited to. But she wanted to go. Correction, she __**needed **__to go. Something, some forgotten instinct perhaps, told her that this was her quest, that she was the one who had to do it. "I'm not allowed to go." She murmured miserably, though she knew that it hadn't stopped her before. _

"_Indeed." Hermes agreed. "Will you allow that to stop you?" _

"_I have to go. I'm sure of it."_

"_You know, I once knew a boy -" _

_**Oh, not again**__ The snake George groaned. __**He's always talking about himself**_

_**Be quiet, George!**__ Martha snapped, and Percy was strongly reminded of an old married couple. _

_Hermes ignored them. "He was much, much younger than you, a babe really, but one night while his mother was sleeping, he sneaked out of their cave and-" _

"_Look, I know the story," Percy interrupted impatiently, not really caring at the moment how rude it came out and about the fact that she was speaking to a Greek God who could vaporize her with a wave of his hand. "But why are you telling me this? What does it have to do with the quest?" _

_The Olympian pursed his lips but didn't call her out on her rudeness, nor did he turn her into anything unnatural, so she was pretty glad he was not one to anger quickly. If it had been any other of the gods she had met, except her dad, she would have probably already been just a pile of ashes. _

"_What I'm trying to say is that sometimes good things come out of breaking the rules, Percy. Do you understand now?" _

"_So you want me to go on a quest?" Percy said slowly, a frown twisting her features. "Why?" _

_Hermes looked away for a moment, like he was having a hard time getting out the next sentence. If Percy's reading people skills were right, he was struggling with one hell of an emotion right now. "I'm hoping that you might save more than one person on this quest, Percy." _

_Realization dawned over her and she looked at him sympathetically. "So this is about Luke." His silence was enough answer. "Look, Lord Hermes -"_

"_Just Hermes"_

"_Look, Hermes, I want to help you. I really do. But I'm not sure Luke can be helped. He doesn't want it and let's be honest; he's already almost succeeded in killing me. I don't doubt he will try again the moment he sees me."_

_He sighed and glanced at her. "I'm not asking you to sacrifice your life to get some sense in his head. I just ask you to tell him, if you ever get the chance, that sometimes parents make mistakes and not to be angry at the whole world because of it."_

"_Even godly parents?" _

"_Especially them. But if I've learned something in the passing eons is that you can't give up on family, Percy. No matter what they do." _

_Strangely, she thought that this sentence somehow related to her own relationship with her dad, but said nothing about it, even though it would give her many sleepless nights on the quest pondering over it. _

_Suddenly, Hermes exclaimed in Greek and straightened at once. "I almost forgot the gifts!" He pulled out his phone once again. It glowed blue in his hand and extended, growing into a three-foot long wooden staff with a pair of dove wings perched on the top. The snakes were still intertwined around it, though much bigger now and finally looking more like snakes instead of earth-worms. _

"_Martha, please?" _

_Percy watched with wide eyes as the snake's mouth opened, stretching wider and wider, until finally she coughed out what looked like a thermos, covered with black and red Greek pictures of a guy fighting a three headed dog. "Is that Hercules?" She asked curiously, immediately recognizing her favorite childhood hero. _

"_This is a collector's item from Hercules Busts Heads. The first season." Hermes sound proud when he said it, but the girl was skeptical. _

"_Hercules Busts Heads?" She asked incredulously. _

"_Great show." The Olympian sighed longingly. "And like all good shows – cancelled!" He spat out, which made Percy think he had been really fond of the show. Of course, she was aware that Olympus had their own television network, Hephaestus TV, especially when she and Annabeth had made their debut last summer while trying to return Ares' shield. _

"_Hey, were Annabeth and I really on TV last year?" She asked curiously. _

"_Oh, yes," Hermes grinned. "Even got ground-breaking ratings, if I'm not wrong. You have no idea how many requests were made about a new show with you starring as the main character." _

_The girl wasn't really sure if she should be angry or pleased by the information so she settled on blushing and looking away. She felt Hermes' eyes on her face and her brush intensified, until finally the tension was broken by his throat-clearing. _

"_Anyway, this thermos here, except being a collective item, a very rare one, mind you, also contains winds from the four corners of the world." Percy took the thermos, almost dropping it in surprise when she realized that while one side was freezing, the other one was burning hot. It wasn't hard to guess which one was north and which- south. _

"_Thanks Hermes." _

"_Wait, wait, there is more!" This time it was George that spit out the next gift – a box sealer. Hermes picked it up and passed it in her hands. She twirled it around curiously, but noticed nothing unusual at first glance. He must have noticed her confusion, because he hurried to explain. _

"_You border anything with this and it will immediately disappear. Vanish into thin air. Very useful for getting out of sticky situations." _

_Percy couldn't help but agree and help the magical tape closer to herself. "Hermes, thank you so much." _

"_Don't thank me yet." He smiled at her, but it quickly vanished when he glanced at his wristwatch. "Look at the time!" He exclaimed. "But I'm not the only one on tight schedule this time, Percy." He threw her a meaningful glance. "Your friends should arrive soon. I'm sure that if you ask nicely, your father would have no problem getting you to the ship." _

"_The ship?" _

_Hermes pointed into the distance, where a big cruise ship was standing in a stark contrast against the dark water. "I hoped I've packed everything you need. I have a bit of an experience with travelling after all." The Olympian snapped his hands and three yellow backpacks came into existence in front of Percy's shocked eyes. "Water-proof, of course." _

_The girl stared at the bags for a long moment, before looking up towards the now standing god. In a reckless moment of gratefulness, she reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Thank you Hermes, for everything. I promise that if I see Luke, I'll try to get him see the truth." _

_The Olympian looked at her in shock, surprised but touched by the unexpected gesture of compassion. He shot her a smile. "Thank you, Percy and be safe. I'll come to see you after the quest and then we can talk more." _

_The demigod watched him jog away, until his form shimmered in the distance, dissolving with the breeze. She could hear footsteps approached and with a deep breath, she squared her shoulders, filled with determination. _

_She had a friend to save and a promise to keep. _

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**Stay tuned for the next chapter guys!**


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